Time to Think

There was an awkward silence as the nurse prepared to insert an IV line into my left hand. I wasn’t excited about what was about to happen; the nurse wanted to hit the vein the first time she tried (I wanted that too). No fun to do the stick twice. Recognizing my quiet demeanor, the nurse added some levity to the moment; nothing wrong with a little humor. “Mr. West, I saw in your chart this is your third knee replacement in the twenty-five months. That’s quite a feat, given you only have two legs.”

Still in a good mood, I quickly responded, “That’s true, been here before. I only have two kids, but I have paid for three weddings.”

Not missing a beat, the nurse responded, “Yeah, I guess sometimes no matter how hard you try, you still need a revision.”

It was a lighthearted moment that was followed by less joyful periods. The surgery was a success—at least that’s what I am told. I am now enduring physical therapy, and it isn’t fun. The first few days after the operation are a blur; that’s a good thing. I know I sound pitiful, but a knee replacement hurts. Thankfully, orthopedic physicians focus on pain management. I can confidently testify that they use medications that get the job done. They do, however, limit your thoughts to basic things; there isn’t big thinking happening when you are taking opioids.

Like clockwork, the intense, overwhelming pain subsides, marking the moment you need to say goodbye to the addictive drugs that got you through the first five days. It is a blessing to make that transition. It is also time to begin another phase; a phase that is known for your inability to do anything without help, a dull pain that is ever-present but manageable, restricted mobility, and fatigue that prevents you from accomplishing anything of substance. Days are long, frustrating even. Like most people, I can only sit on my arse with my leg wrapped in ice propped atop two pillows for so long before I get antsy.

If there is a positive, the newly restrictive lifestyle gives you time to think without high-powered pain pills. If you can detach yourself from your short-term reality, there is time for productive mental activities. This past weekend was the trigger point for me; I crossed over from hopeless to alive, and I considered several key items. Most notably, I invested a great deal of time thinking about how I spent my time.

My conclusion is I need to focus more on my two priorities; I need to take a break from other things that aren’t directly contributing to those two: my day job and my third book. The most notable example of prioritization is this weekly column. I enjoy writing the column, value the feedback I receive, and the time it allows me to ponder various thoughts in my head. But my primary writing goal is to complete my third book. It is the most exciting narrative I have worked on—admittedly the sample size is small but work with me here. I believe the story I am crafting will resonate with readers and entertain them. More to the point, I am enjoying working on it.

Time and experience have taught me it is healthy to slow down and consider for a moment what you are doing and to measure it against what you want to do. Yes, it would be nice if it didn’t require a traumatic event to force reflection, but that luxury isn’t always present. For me, I had to have my knee violated to slow down and focus.

The result, I am going to take a short sabbatical from the weekly column. I don’t know how long it will be. It won’t be permanent. In fact, I might have something spinning in my head so much that I must write it down; in that instance, I will produce a column. This isn’t a permanent step; I only seek time to focus my energy on book number three. I trust my readers will be around when I reengage on a weekly basis.

As for the book, it’s a fictional thriller that explores the intersection of AI and healthcare. What happens if an AI agent, developed for humanity’s benefit, secretly harbors a threat to humanity?

As the summer progresses and the book takes shape, I will provide more insight into the book’s plot. For paid members, I intend to provide a behind-the-scenes view of the book-writing process. I frequently hear people say they want to write a book; maybe this will give those who harbor that idea insight into how I get from idea to print.

Thanks for your understanding. I appreciate the support I receive and look forward to years of sharing my work.

Happy Memorial Day