Born November 30, 1835, in Florida, Missouri, Samuel Clemens was the sixth of seven children and one of only four who lived past childhood; he was of English, Scottish, and Irish descent. At the age of four his family moved to Hannibal, Missouri, a river town on the banks of the Mississippi; it was here Samuel found inspiration to write. As a writer, Samuel adopted the pen name Mark Twain and became one of the most recognizable writers, essayists, and humorists in America, and ultimately the world.
It goes without saying Twain became one of the most successful and sought after people in the 19th century; with his prominence came great wealth and access. He was known to mingle with presidents, industrialists, and international royalty. His ability to turn a phrase, both as a writer and a speaker, drove his popularity. He was funny, charming, and interesting, a combination that captivated a room and left those who attended a Twain event smiling and shaking their head as they left, departing for home. Seemingly there was nothing he touched that ended badly; that is until he took much of his wealth and began investing in new innovative technologies. Twain wasn’t a good investor, and his fortune shrunk; and then it got worse. In 1880 Twain invested in a new typesetting machine that he believed would change the printing world; over a fourteen-year period, he invested over nine million dollars (in today’s dollars), only to see the machine fail and his money evaporate. He lost almost all of what he had earned from his books to date, and most of his bride’s inheritance; he was effectively broke.
Faced with a financial calamity, he sold his home, moved to Europe, and began to do speaking engagements to stay afloat. It wasn't enough and he was forced to file for personal bankruptcy, a tough blow for such a respected figure. It was at this moment the character of Twain defined his legacy; despite no legal obligation to his creditors, Twain decided to pay off his debts and promised those he owed he would do right by them. This was no easy task; he was in a deep hole. Despite not being a young man and in poor health, Twain signed up for a year-long around the world speaking tour; after fourteen challenging months Twain returned to Europe and was able to pay off his creditors.
Twain was funny and his lectures were more stand-up comedy than they were of a serious nature. He spun the audience with tails from his life, stories he heard in taverns and embellished, and retellings of his travels. His humor spared no subject; not unlike that of the centuries most famous president, Abraham Lincoln. Lincoln, like Twain, was known to hold humor in the highest regard. Though they never met, they likely would have had a bang-up time going back and forth seeing who could craft the most memorable knee-slapper.
Twain was an unabashed confederate and often joked about his minimal attempt, during the war, to serve the confederacy; later in life he never failed to praise the union and what America had become; this was never more apparent than his speech he gave at a celebration of Abraham Lincoln’s life at Carnegie Hall in February of 1901. After causing roaring laughter fibbing about his days during the war, he turned serious and focused on the evening’s purpose, to honor Lincoln.
“We are here to honor the noblest and the best man after Washington that this land, or any other land, has yet produced. When the great conflict began the soldiers from the North and South swung into line to the tune of that same old melody, 'We are coming. Father Abraham, three hundred thousand strong.' The choicest of the young and brave went forth to fight and shed their blood under the flag and for what they thought was right. They endured hardships equivalent to circumnavigating the globe four or five times in the olden days. They suffered untold hardships and fought battles night and day.”
He continued, "The old wounds are healed, and you of the North and we of the South are brothers yet. We consider it to be an honor to be of the soldiers who fought for the Lost Cause, and now we consider it a high privilege to be here tonight and assist in laying our humble homage at the feet of Abraham Lincoln. And we do not forget that you of the North and we of the South, one-time enemies, can now unite in singing that great hymn, 'America.' "
It is not hard to see how Twain captured the hearts of Americans, who doesn’t want to think, reflect, and laugh. The need to laugh hasn’t changed, nor the benefit that comes from smiling after having your mind sparked with a line that is worthy of a giggle.
Today’s humor feels more intentional and personal. It is as though we can’t laugh unless we are laughing at someone specifically or making fun of them; comedy is less gourmet and more gourmand. I guess that is okay, we should be able to laugh at things, people, and ourselves; however, it is fun to enjoy humor that asks us to think.
In the spirit of laughing is good, I thought I would offer some of Twain’s more famous quotes in the hopes that it will bring a smile, and maybe even cause you to reflect on a simpler time—as with everything, there are those who dispute Twain was the originator of some of these, since I am not a researcher, and perfect attribution is not the point, I choose to present these as uniquely Twain.
“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt.”
“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”
“Never put off to tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.”
“The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”
“There is no distinctly criminal class—except Congress.”
“We have the best money that government can buy.”
“Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”
“It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.”
“A person who won’t read has no advantage over one who can’t read.”
“Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.”
“Name the greatest of all inventors, accident.”
“The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.”
“The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.”
“Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.”
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”
“Don’t go around and say the world owes you a living. It owes you nothing. It was here first.”
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
“Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.”
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.”
“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you would rather not.”
“A man who carries a cat by the tail, learns something he can learn in no other way.”
“It ain’t the parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it’s the parts that I do understand.”
“Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.”
“In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.”
“Go to Heaven for the climate, to Hell for the company.”
“It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.”
“There are lies, damn lies, and statistics.”
I hope this brought a brief smile to your face. Please let me know what you think, and if you have favorite Twain quote, post it in the comment section.